04 February 2013 @ 11:08 am
 I've been terribly absent online, and I hate that, but I've been busy with school and I'm always feeling sick anymore.

I didn't go to Snowball Saturday; Mike and I went out to eat then just went back to his and watched telly.  There was a bit of drama with some 'friends' of mine and I didn't really feel like dealing with that, especially since we hadn't wanted to go in the first place and only changed our mind when one couple said they were going.

My parents are freaking me out a bit, and I'm not really sure what to do.  When I told them that I didn't want to go to Snowball, they started pointing out all of these things that I've quit on and how I'm starting to worry them, and I just kind of started bawling.  I didn't do golf because it interefered with school work (actually, I've hated it since I started, soo...).  I didn't do basketball because it hurt me emotionally to go to practice.  I stuck with cheer, although it's ridiculous right now.  I told them I don't want to do track because I'd much rather run on my own without humiliating myself, but they weren't too pleased there. 

I guess I should be happy that they're taking an interest - not that they usually don't, it's just different, I guess?  They didn't freak this much when I was on the verge of depression, so either this is worse and I can't see it, or they learned from the last time when it took me two years to snap the fuck out of it.  

They keep saying that my grades are fine and they're proud of me, just worried.  And all I can think is that I must be worse off than I think, because it's like they're concerned I'm going to turn into a complete failure.  And just, holy crap, that is not comforting at all.