01 January 2014 @ 12:00 am
You can share your wishlist - it is alright to want nice things. It's not necessary to do something extraordinary to deserve a gift. It is okay to accept that sometimes people may want to give you a present. They might want to do something for you, or it may make them feel good, or just because they can. Enjoy it!

It is alright to not give someone something. People have different circumstances - you may not have to money, you may not have the time, or you may not have a particularly close relationship with someone. It's fine! Don't feel bad. It's not necessary.

wishlist )
04 February 2013 @ 04:42 pm
I do not miss you.
Not really.
I think, rather, I miss the 
Idea of you.
I miss the nights we never got together and
The things we never got to share.
I miss thinking that I could share these 
Little things with you later,
That I could save away anecdotes to 
Make me more interesting to you.
Because I don't miss you, not really.
I miss the possibility of you.
04 February 2013 @ 11:08 am
 I've been terribly absent online, and I hate that, but I've been busy with school and I'm always feeling sick anymore.

I didn't go to Snowball Saturday; Mike and I went out to eat then just went back to his and watched telly.  There was a bit of drama with some 'friends' of mine and I didn't really feel like dealing with that, especially since we hadn't wanted to go in the first place and only changed our mind when one couple said they were going.

My parents are freaking me out a bit, and I'm not really sure what to do.  When I told them that I didn't want to go to Snowball, they started pointing out all of these things that I've quit on and how I'm starting to worry them, and I just kind of started bawling.  I didn't do golf because it interefered with school work (actually, I've hated it since I started, soo...).  I didn't do basketball because it hurt me emotionally to go to practice.  I stuck with cheer, although it's ridiculous right now.  I told them I don't want to do track because I'd much rather run on my own without humiliating myself, but they weren't too pleased there. 

I guess I should be happy that they're taking an interest - not that they usually don't, it's just different, I guess?  They didn't freak this much when I was on the verge of depression, so either this is worse and I can't see it, or they learned from the last time when it took me two years to snap the fuck out of it.  

They keep saying that my grades are fine and they're proud of me, just worried.  And all I can think is that I must be worse off than I think, because it's like they're concerned I'm going to turn into a complete failure.  And just, holy crap, that is not comforting at all.
12 January 2013 @ 08:50 pm
How many unreplied text messages before I admit defeat?

I'm at four so far...
05 January 2013 @ 04:55 pm
So, last night I had to cheer and that was dull, but at least it was basketball. Angela was there because her boyfriend plays for the team we were playing and I told her that she needed to find me someone to talk to because. And she delivered. Bless Angela and Phil. She got me Phil's friend's number. We've been talking like all day. He's name's Zachary and he's cute and nice and oh my gosh what am I doing with myself? This is uncharted territory. He doesn't really live close close to me, but he doesn't live forever away. So I'm hoping that if we keep talking we can hang out and stuff? That'd be lovely.

I probably sound ridiculous right now. I do not care.